Double trouble for Stokey family
The terrible sickness and fatigue should have been a clue.
When I said I wondered if I was expecting twins my doctor, sonographer and husband all scoffed. “Women often think that”, said my GP, “but sometimes your morning sickness is just worse in your second pregnancy.”
But the sight of a second tiny baby at an eight week scan and a second beating heart still came as an almighty shock. I feel a little less human and a bit more animal… like I’m carrying around a litter.
There is no history of twins in our families and we didn’t have IVF – so this is totally unexpected. Although apparently I’m “no spring chicken” (as my lovely friends keep reminding me). Did you know when women get older they release more eggs, hence more multiple births? OK but I’m 35 – I’m hardly drawing a pension.
I’m still reeling to be honest… our emotions have lurched from elation to panic to fear for the babies’ health and back to elation.
We’d always planned to be a family of four. Our son is two, we live in a three bedroom house, we don’t have much help available nearby, we just bought a car fit for four and emotionally we’d geared up for two children (if we were lucky enough to even have two).
This almighty curve ball changes the future fairly spectacularly… family holidays suddenly become tricky, life becomes more expensive, taking a tube into the city will be quite a mission. Actually going anywhere with the children will be a bit more of a logistical headache. And how the hell will we keep on top of feeding, sleep and nappy changes with two newborns and a toddler?
Holy smoke – we will have three children under the age of three.
We’ll face big decisions about how we parent these littl’uns… how much do we encourage their independence from one another? Should they be in the same class at primary school? Do we dress them the same? How do we make sure our toddler still has the attention he craves.
I see twins around and I appreciate their cuteness, the bond they seem to have with one another and the fact they always have a buddy for life. There’s something super special about twins. Although we do have a friend in his 30s with a genuine evil twin.
But the physical strain of carrying them, the fear they’ll arrive premature and poorly and the work involved in caring for them seem so daunting, Local parents of twins always seem so on top of things…. But I am a worrier, I over-think things, I’m definitely not unflappable and I’m ever so slightly (very) scared.
* Do you have twins or even triplets? Please email firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d like to share your story.
* The Stoke Newington Twins Club is a great source of advice and support for those with twins or triplets. You can find them here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/226125430762872/?fref=ts